Looper

Recommend!

I need some non-film-major peeps to check back with me after they see the movie.

I THINK it was really good. I liked the story and there were several twists. My problem? Gordon's spot-on impression of Bruce Willis kept distracting me. He was so good! I can only imagine that his preparation for the roll included pondering the question "how would Bruce say/express this line." I was seeing the movie from a production point of view instead of immersing myself into the world of the movie... instead of Suspension of disbelief.

So watch it. Tell me it IS a good flick.

A Grizzly

I attended an Altrusa meeting tonight. My friend Beth has been very involved for years and is becoming district governor this year... I think that's right. Anyway, she's a rock star and I admire her and this is a huge part of her life.

A month ago she posted this banner on her FB page and I thought it was brills. When I commented she said, for the hundredth time, that I would love it and should join.

The president of the chapter in my area posted within minutes that they would love to have me visit the next meeting. Beth said she'd go with me... even though she would have to miss her own Altrusa meeting...

... And tonight I met a wonderful group of women. I think this might be for me. A group of women, working together, to make our community a better place. It is "a builder of women."

I really like the sound of that, "a builder of women."

I sat in the meeting wanting to be worthy of these women who volunteer so much of their time. But since I'm me, I also became obsessed that there might be spinach in my teeth. I flashed a quick grizzly at Nissa, who also came along for the visit. She gave me a nod and I calmed down, loving that she knew what I was asking.

So... I'm excited!

Who loves me?

I ask this question at least once a day. Our house is small and the question can be heard everywhere.

I do.
I DO!
I do...

Roll call is taken and everyone has answered and our house is filled with love.

SongPOP

I loved the old game show Name That Tune... And now I'm addicted to the app version!

I wait in anticipation of my turn! I want to call people and say "hurry, it's your turn!" I ignore my husband and tune out my girls during my round... 7 to 20 seconds of complete concentration and adrenaline.

I don't care if the house is on fire, it's my turn!

I am not good at this game, everyone beats me. Kim scores over 20,000 in one round and Michael can guess a song under 1 second... But win or lose, I'm addicted!

Hippy New Year!

I remember when 2013 seemed like a science fiction date, too far into the future to be real... And yet it's here.

And so I say happy new year to you! And me :) I hope this year is a good one, where I grow emotionally and shrink physically.

The last two months... Have been deeply personal and I have not blogged. My hubby misses my posts and so here I am, rambling to myself, sharing my days again.

I'm working out and dieting with the ladies at work. Took Christmas "off" and am back to it tomorrow. They've promised an hour workout and then up three flights of stairs. Hope I don't die... Or barf :)

I turn 39 in March and I really want a bike for my birthday. But I have to lose weight in order to buy a bike I can afford. So that's my mini goal... Fit on a bike by March 7th.

I spent the day with Gorgeous. It was really relaxing. I'm working on a couple of projects at her house, using her jewels and sewing machine. I finished 3 bracelets and one spa wrap. I'm excited about how the spa wrap turned out, I'm making one for all the girlies. G doesn't think little Kate will use it, but I'm making it anyway. The bracelets are for my girlfriends... 5 more to make... Unless I forgot someone... Remind me if you want a bracelet :)

Honey won't model her spa wrap so you'll have to wait for Caitlin's. I'm making myself one too, lol, maybe I'll be the model.

Thanking God for everyday. Peace.

StairMaster

I've been taking the stairs this week. Trying to be good and get in a little exercise whenever I can.

I work on the 3rd floor and never realized how often I travel vertically throughout the day :)

I had to get over myself. There is no hiding the heavy breathing... But at least I'm trying.

I was on my way up the stairs and passed Edna on her way down the stairs. She is super sweet and paused to ask if I was feeling okay because I was walking funny.

LOL! I told her that's just how I have to walk the stairs. Wish I'd taken a video.

She knows I fall a lot (a lot!) and was glad I hadn't taken a tumble recently.

So now I'm a stair master and it gets easier every time!

"... and scene"

INT - Studio - Day

Michael, Christy, and Kathleen sit around a production table covered with monitors and trash from lunch.

Kathleen gets up from her chair and walks towards the door.

Christy picks something out of Kathleen's chair and holds it towards Michael.

Muted conversation and a laugh. Kathleen turns around to look back at her co-workers.

KATHLEEN

Are you talking about me?

Christy reveals the light bulb she is holding.

CHRISTY

(laughing)

You were sitting on a light bulb?!

"... and scene."

Riddle me this Batman, if a princess can feel a pea... what does that make me?

For shizzle, no matter what, I have some mad ass skills to sit on that bulb without breaking it. Crazy!

Pretzel

I have been craving a soft pretzel for 4 days! I thought I would get lucky at Legoland yesterday... but no, I waded through a jungle of kids with no pretzel at the end of the tunnel.

So disappointed.

Today I woke up and I said to myself "By golly Kathleen, we are gonna find a soft pretzel.  A good one. A TARGET soft pretzel!" And that goal is pretty much what I scheduled my day around.

It was a GOOOOOD pretzel too!

Karen and Stacy joined me on this quest.  Stacy was being good... but Karen came to the dark side and even ordered cheese on hers.

There was a crazy lady in the parking lot (not me). She looked normal, but clearly was not.  They will give a drivers license to anyone these days.  (If they gave one to me...)

Also... I'm a dumb ass...

A "Technique"

I love my visits with Vera.  But they are so private and personal that I rarely share the content of my visits.

Today I'm going to share, well I'll try to share but it's hard to find words to express my wonder.

So, blah blah blah, stuff going on in my life... and my fourth grade year of school came into our session.  Last week I cried and raged (and laughed, because I really do love to laugh) about how a teacher refused to let me go to the girl's room. (Fourth grade was relevant to the topic.)

I told Vera about the physical pain I was in because my bladder was so full.  She (the teacher) told me to go sit down, I could wait till class was over.  I asked my best friend, who the teacher liked, to go ask again for me.  I had to go to the bathroom so badly I was afraid to breath.

When my friend came back to our table of desks shaking her head no, my bladder just released.  I completely lost control.

I remember tearfully whispering to my best friend to go tell the teacher I'd wet my pants. I was sitting in a puddle of my own misery.

I was waiting in the nurses office for my parents to bring some clothing.  The teacher came in, stooped to eye level, and with an accusatory finger jabbing in my face said in the scary whisper "Don't you ever do that to me again."

Today Vera took me through a "technique," a journey really.  (I'm already at a loss for words.) Knowing and believing that Jesus is always with me, with us, we are going to visit my memory again.  This time I closed my eyes and brought all my memories of that day together, I've just wet my pants... and then Vera said, "look at the door, Jesus is walking towards you."

And he was.  And as Vera spoke Jesus and I walked through the whole memory. But this time I can SEE him protecting me.  I can HEAR him kindly telling the teacher not to speak that way to me, that I've done nothing wrong.  He asks me to give him my pain. And I asked if he could also take my anger. And please forgive me for taking so long to forgive this teacher.  And he does.

And there is a wonderful warmth of lights and colors.

And he loves me.


I don't have a photo to share today.  A photo doesn't feel right with this post. My fourth grade experience is so mild compared to the pain that so many children suffer, I know this. And this experience is not why I'm seeing a counselor... I just wanted to share a wonderful experience.

Zonked (A to Z)

Wow! April 30th. I can't wait to do this again next year... Hopefully I'll be in a calmer and more peaceful place mentally.

But I finished the challenge despite everything going on. Very satisfying... I didn't get to visit many other blogs, I've got the list though and am going to visit every one of them eventually.

Siobain was home sick today and I feel beat up. We're both zonked! And I'm ready for some hubby cuddles.

Congrats to my fellow bloggers, it's wonderful to feel part of the pack.

Nightmares...

Middle of the night
Thoughts swirl in tornado style
Havoc in my mind

Peace (A to Z)

I measured me a$$ today. With an orange, plastic, 12-inch ruler. I share because it gave me a giggle.

That does relate to my topic... eventually.

I am fortunate to have insurance that covers visits to a counselor, which I need... and everyone should be lucky enough to have. Vera has helped me improve my life in so many ways, as I've mentioned on my blog before, but there is still lots of work for us to do.

As a quick side note, I know several people who have visited with Vera and then "their time was up"... She'd helped them with what they needed and told them they were welcome to come back if they ever needed her again. She didn't try to milk the system, she truly wants the best for her clients... Including not taxing their wallets unnecessarily.

Of late I have been anxious beyond even my "normal." It is causing me to gain even more weight, constant headaches and neck pain, and an inability to rest (even with a powerful sleep prescription.) At my last appointment Vera worked with me to calm me down... We couldn't get anything else done in my state of anxiety. She taught me a calming technique and I finally found some peace and was even able to sleep last night!

I did this again at lunch today. I went to me car, opened the windows to the breeze, set my alarm and got to work!

In thirty minutes my alarm woke me up and my head pain was gone. I was refreshed for the afternoon of work... Well, kind of refreshed...

... I was a ball of sweat, I'll have to find an alternative to my car in this Texas heat :)

All of this has inspired me to get back into yoga. Once upon a time I would do 45-90 minutes of yoga a day. I remember when my little girl would say "It's time for yogi mommy!" I'd be in the middle of downward-facing-dog and she would scoot under me and do it too.  I finally had to get a mat just for her! I loved all six of my Yoga Zone DVDs.  Unfortunately, if I tried to do any of those in my current physical state I would end up breaking both knees and my back... But I found a yoga DVD for "plus size" peeps, it arrives Friday and I can't wait! AND a larger yoga mat (here's where the ruler played into my day) so that I can yoga more comfortably.

Even Froggy is excited! (He's doing the lotus)

Ironically... while I was finding peace today I was wreaking havoc at home!  I forgot to remind hubby that I had a shoot tonight.  By the time I turned my phone back on I had 17 missed calls, tons of text messages, and a sister on the way to my office. I did not bring peace to my family tonight!

I called hubby right away (he was not a happy camper!)  He called my sister Sarah and called off the search, she was already half-way to my office.

I was able to call Gorgeous a few minutes later to let her know it was a false alarm and I am really sorry.  Next was my sister Siobain... who said she almost went into labor with worry (I'm really praying she doesn't go into labor tonight!) And then I called Sarah... who was totally cool about the whole thing and even made me laugh. She said "It would be just like one of us to run out of gas with a dead cell phone... and you probably would have sprained your ankle earlier in the day."

I'll have to be more diligent about calling hubby before an evening shoot so he doesn't worry.  I want him to have peace too.

Dog, Dork, Disgusting, Derrick (A to Z)

This is my handsome boy. Everyone should have such a loving companion.

I'm feeling a little sappy today... Writing this at lunch on a day full of anxiety and paranoia, just thinking about cuddling my Spartacus makes me want to run home where he'll be so happy to see me.

I love hubby and my girlies more than I can express. But Spartacus is my one and only handsome boy.

He is also brills and has a blog of his own, I Am Spartacus. I don't write this blog but I wish I was that fun and clever. His ghost writer makes me happy, sharing Spartacus' personality with posts. Check it out, I hope you like it as much as I do.

Sooo... That was the dog and here is the dork.

reenactment of actual event

Yes, this was me this morning. My plan had been to send a photo to the dentist since I couldn't leave work... Apparently my mouth is not as big as people think... Yes, it's big enough to fit an iPhone with an Otter Box case on it but not big enough to give enough room to focus.

Which leads us to the grooosssss...

See? All out of focus.  This is tooth #18 and the hole that previously held tooth #19 (numbered according to the Web Dental Office). If it were in focus you would see that SOME of that mess in #19 is stitching... it's the other stuff I wanted clarified.

This whole attempt made me giggle and I seriously doubt anyone will every ask to borrow my phone after this post.

And now onto the derrick...

Honey is doing a great job creating her derrick... now that she has a glue gun. Hubby tried to get her to do it with super glue, the man knows nothing about crafts. It's a good thing he's funny :)

April Fool (A to Z)

Today is the first day of the A to Z Challenge! I was a little worried because I am not feeling up-to-par today.  I still have pain from my teeth pulling extravaganza and not a lot of energy with an all-liquid diet, so my planned "Art" events were going to be canceled.

Oh dear, what am I going to do!  No fear.  I forgot about the fool I live with :)

(Caitlin is a brills stylist!)

Hubby made a very lame attempt at an "April Fools" day joke.  "I have 2 stay (at work) till 4"... unfortunately for him I was in a pain-med-induced nap... ha! He had to call the girlies to see if I got the text. From there he was the goofy hubby that I love... until...

Don't joke about shakes with a pain-induced-liquid-diet wife! 

Shakes are no laughing matter!

But he's cuddling me the rest of the day... so he's forgiven.

The Boom-Boom MiniVan

Sometimes, this 38-year-old mother of two feels the need... to boom-boom.  That's right. Crank up the radio and vibrate the windows. At these times I really wish my minivan was decked out with extra bass and a neon under-carriage.

Ha-shizzle!

Today I boom-boom-ed at work too.  Nothing makes project updates more fun than Moves Like Jagger.  I even got a little Iko Iko in today.

Froggy joined me in my boom-boom work.

Ha-shizzle!

I've missed my "awkward" lately.  The awkward moments in my life provide me with entertainment and always give me a giggle.  So I was soooo relieved when I accidentally hopped a curb while dropping the girlies off to school today.  That's right.  In front of everyone.  Awkward.

Here's another awkward, just for me!  I am the stereotypical-cartoon-crazy-pms-woman!  And here is the picture to prove it!

Yup! A heating pad, wine, chocolate, and Pamprin.

The bear is symbolic ;)

Threading

My girl friends have been talking about "threading" a lot lately.  "It's so much better than waxing or plucking!"

Robyn was heading over to get her brows done this afternoon and I decided to join her. Here's what I knew before I had it done... they use a thread... that and the comment above were about the extent of my knowledge.

We walk in to the... threading place... I don't know the name of it.  It is Indian owned and run and the women were very nice. There was a television playing bollywood music videos (which I secretly l-o-v-e.)

I was asked to sit in a hair-salon type chair and to scoot down.  Further down.  More, touch your head on the back of the chair.  Okay, to accomplish laying my head on the back of the chair I had to scoot my (large) a$$ off the chair.  I was hanging on by my tailbone.

She started with my brows.  Um. Ouch. Sneeze.

I had to stop her to sneeze.  It was a reflex.  I was really worried that for each... thread... I'd have to sneeze.  But I didn't.  Instead I laughed.

It was a laugh of pain.  A "I can't believe that I am paying someone to hurt me this much" laugh.  A "why am I torturing myself" giggle.

The nice woman asked "Are you ticklish?"

Ummm... I did not say "What the ha-shizzle? How could this tickle ANYONE!"... instead I just laughed again and tried not to wince.

As I was staring at the ceiling I was thinking that they should put motivation posters up there.  You know, 'You can do it!' or 'Breath through the pain!' But I guess that wouldn't be good for business.

Meanwhile I have started crying.  Silent tears streaming into my hair as gravity pulls them from the outside corner of my eyes.  Not sobbing, just some tiny tears.

"We do your lip?"

I've never done my lip before... but apparently it needed to be done.  "I'll need to wax first, you have a lot of hair."

Okay?

More giggling. Another tear. She hands me the mirror.

I can't see anything with my blurry vision, so I nod and say thank you.

I'm a little dizzy when I get up.

I have really sensitive skin and these red marks lasted for about an hour and a half... while I was at work. The welts have become smaller... but I am still worried about what my skin might do tomorrow.

Apparently this is an ancient hair removal process from Egypt or India... a natural way of removing hair using only thin cotton thread.

A found a video online to share... in case anyone wants to try threading.

I will try this again.  Everyone says the first time hurts because you have more hair... we'll see.

That's Pimp

Siobain woke me up this morning... "do they cancel school when it rains this hard?"

Sigh, no. 

Even having to give Spartacus his anti-rainstorm-and-thunder-medicine I was still able to drop the girlies off on-time to school. Impressive!

But I didn't make it to work on time...

The traffic was at such a standstill that I was actually able to check my email with no safety guilt. (Usually I only answer and place calls.)

My morning started off pretty rough.  A man was in my office humming with rage.  I mean, I think he was actually emitting a hum from the vibrations of his muscles as he tried to stay under control.  To his credit, he never once raised his voice... I was a little worried about his face though.  He's a handsome man and rubbing on it like that can cause wrinkles.  Anyway, I was up to the task of fixing the situation (the deets don't matter, well, except that it wasn't about me or my fault... for some reason those deets always matter to me.)

But by 11:15 I had not been able to fix things.  So I needed to eat some texmex STAT (thank you girls!)  As we were leaving the texmex restaurant three things happened.

First, there were three women walking out behind us who heard me ask my friend frantically "Did you see naked women? I need to know if you saw naked women! WERE THERE NAKED WOMEN?"

Okay, I didn't know they were behind us and these questions were heard completely out of context.  Alright, they probably weren't out of context but I did NOT know anyone could hear us.  I made their day.

Second, this car...

... is sitting on the ground. At first I thought there were four flat tires... but no, it's a hydraulic-y car.  Pimp! We were NOT going to leave until I had a picture of this car. Unfortunately I couldn't get a good angle so we had to leave the texmex parking lot and go into the "gentleman's club" parking lot... which was a fun field trip. As we are driving back into the texmex parking lot, hanging out the window with my camera, we pass the same three women... who roll down their window, laugh, and say "Are you back to take a picture of that car?" Ha-shizzle YES! (You know I made their day!)

Third, I made the girls wait until I got the right shot.  I didn't care that we were blocking a car.  I have priorities... and Pimp is one of them.  Fortunately the other car ALSO found our shenanigans amusing.

BONUS, I received an email on the way back to work that the "situation" was about to be fixed!

***

Because I think this is funny... I'm going to share it.  I have a half-wall on one side of my cubicle.  It's convenient and helps control my claustrophobia.  There were three men talking to me over the half wall about projects for a bit. When they left I looked down at my keyboard... only to see...

... my shirt rolled up and one of my belly rolls chillaxing for the whole world to see.  I've taken this photo from their point-of-view so that you can really, really appreciate this post-awkward moment. 

A few rules to live by.... Always tell people when: 

- they are wearing a price tag 

- they have toilet paper stuck to any part of their body 

- their clothing tag is sticking out

- they have a booger

- food is on their face, chest, or lap

- hair is sticking up (unless it's clearly on purpose)

- any smudge, dirt, or marker on their face

- food or any object stuck in or on their teeth

- their zipper is unzipped, wherever that zipper my be

- if they have anything alien on their behind, not matter what it is

- and IF THEIR FAT ROLLS ARE EXPOSED.

So, I emailed some girl friends this photo with the note that ONE of these three guys could have said something along the line of "pull your shirt down."

Later that day... Little Miss Stacy was with me and in the short amount of time we were together she kindly told me THREE times that my shirt rolled up.

Burning the shirt! Keeping Stacy!

***

Caitlin has to read everyday for homework... sometimes we are distracting :)

Sorry!

Today... I had fun!  First time in a long time that I was able to NOT think about breathing and/or sleeping.   After getting a triple haircut (me and my girlies) we drove over to visit with Gorgeous.

Gorgeous is recovering from major foot surgery... it's an awesome frankenfoot now.  Anyway, because I've been so ill'n we haven't been able to stop by for some chill'n. Yup, I wrote "ill'n" and "chill'n," I am definitely on the road to recovery.

Caitlin suggested a game of Sorry after we ate dinner.  I think we were all "meh" but she really wanted to play.

So. Much. Fun!

Siobin... is evil when it comes to Sorry!... and she is not "sorry" at all!

Gorgeous broke out some M&M treats for game time.  M&M candies will always remind me of my grandmother, Gorgeous' mom, and I think the tradition will continue. I hope they still have M&M candies when I'm a grandma.

Honestly, Gorgeous doesn't seem old enough to be a grandma.  My grandma was old for-ev-er! Totally fun and awesome, but old!  Gorgeous was right when she said she wasn't old enough to be a grandparent... of coarse that was 13 years and six grandchildren ago :) I think she's adjusted.

I love this photo for two reasons.  First, because right after I gave the camera to Caitlin to snap some photos of the other side of the board (us) Honey and I started wrestling over a game piece. I let my inner child come out when we play board games. So this is the best picture there was of the two of us. Second, do you see the open mouth and straining neck on Honey?  That's a Spearing girl laugh. It's obnoxious and loud and totally un-lady-like.  This is the way I laugh. And this is how both my sisters laugh when they think something is really funny.  I love it and it brings me joy.

After Siobain "sorry-ed" all of Caitlin's pieces... Caitlin ended up winning.

I thought I had it in the bag!

We weren't ready for the fun to be over and Caitlin suggested Monopoly.  I wasn't ready for the fun to last three days so I counter offered Yahtzee. (The game with bonus math skills practice.)

Super Siobain did not win.

Gorgeous did not win.*

That's right, I won after scoring two Yahtzees! 

Gorgeous suggested I buy a lotto ticket on the way home.

See, all I needed was some time with my mom to start feeling better.

*Okay, Gorgeous is gorgeous and so I have to remind everyone that she has a frankenfoot and would otherwise not be in a recliner with a walker in the background.

Bed Haiku

Bed, how I missed thee

whistle, nay cough while I work

home to you I run

It was a long day at work.  This is hard to believe, but it was the first time in 7 days that I had really spoken more than a couple words at a time.  Talking makes me cough.  All the coughing gave me a head and stomach ache so I skipped lunch and took a nap on the nurse's bed.

Yeah, we have a bed at work. Love it!  And I snoozed for an hour.

There were several bright spots in my day, including a birthday present waiting for me!

My pictures don't do these gifts justice!  I love handmade cards and Robyn's are so beautiful.  I don't know if she knows that buttons are my very, very favorite embellishment or if it was just birthday luck that she gave me this card!  (I already told her that I was probably going to re-use in my scrapbook because it is so fantastic!)

Plus, a goodie bag of MORE scraptastic embellishments.  So excited!

Geographic Tongue

Back to the doctor this afternoon... for the last time, yea!!  I've been given a "much better" bill of health.  Get it? Not a "clean" bill of health 'cause I'm still sick... anywho. I can return to work on Monday.

I sound better and look better. Ya know, on the inside.  'Cause I am a great big give-up on the outside.  You see the bottom of this photo?  What should be the top of a shirt? Or dress? Nope, those are my pajamas.  Yup, I went there. Well, I put pants on. And a jacket-y thing.  But still. Pajamas.

I'm really looking forward to feeling better.

You can tell I feel better because I took photos :)

(instead of lying down and whimpering)

So even though I don't have to go back for another check up, unless something doesn't feel right, I still have to do another month of breathing treatments. Well, 25 more days anyway. 

I found out a fun fact during this illness episode.... I have a geographic tongue!

I have always been self-conscious of my tongue... cause it's ugly.  Not only is it weird looking (geographic) but I also have scars from a nice big bite when I was little.  But know that I am one of the 2% of people on the planet with a geographic tongue I feel... still self-conscious.  But I have buddies out there somewhere.

The geographic tongue would explain why I have immediate reactions to some foods (jalapeno incident with Beth) and why my tongue looks different from day to day.

So I came home and told hubby that I am not a complete freak of nature... 2% of the population are freaks with me!  And do you know what he said? "I think I have that too!"

Dork.