Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Triple Chill Pill Day

It's 11:45, I'm on my way home, and I didn't kill anyone today.

Monday, July 30, 2012


Finally back to the living today, lost the last 4 days to a massive tension headache. A "charlie-horse" of the head is how my dr.  described it years ago to get the right diagnosis. I've not had one this bad in ages.

One of the things I discovered a few years ago is that if I have Caitlin sit on my head the pain becomes manageable. I know, it sounds weird, but when you're desperate... I lay down with my head on a pillow, ear down, and I place a second pillow over my other ear. Caitlin can comfortably sit there for the whole length of a movie and I usually have drugged myself to sleep before she gets up. 

But Caitlin is a growing girl... and she has just tipped the scale of being a bit too heavy as a head-sitter. This was the last episode I'll be able to use her.  She suggested that I could have my 3rd girlie, Mia, come over when my head hurts... But I don't know, saying "sit on my head" to your own children is one thing, saying it to someone else's child just seems wrong.

Hubby suggested we could train the dog to do it, but he was just being mean. 

I think I've come up with a possible solution, "shot bags!" Cloth bags filled with sand designed to weigh down equipment so nothing tips over on set. I'm sure other industries use them too.  You see crude versions holding down temporary signs on the highway.  What I need to do is figure out the proper weight. Maybe Stacy or Karen will help me sew a pretty one together! (hint)

Cutest shot-bag ever!

On the tail-end of my tension torture I had to go to the dentist to pick up my mouth guard. I have to wear this all the time, except when eating, brushing my teeth, or drinking dark liquids. Apparently one is NOT supposed to grind there teeth 24/7.  I have to re-train my jaw... it doesn't know it's place. In the long run this should help with my headaches... but right now it's just triggering my gag reflex at the worst times possible.

"Hi, yes, nice to meet you" hurl face, "excuse me... it's me, not you" hurl face, "no really, please excuse me."

Plus, today, the first time outside the house I left my case in Karen's car.  I'll need to remember this when the girlies are in retainers, because I'm pretty sure I would normally say something like "you are xx years old! when are you going to take responsibility for your things!"... 

Hi, my name is Kathleen. I'm 39 years old. I lost my retainer case today.

(BTW, I found out I lost it when Karen sent me a photo text... tehe to technology.)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Gorgeous Painting

I was so excited when Gorgeous agreed to go painting with me tonight, I really wanted to do the Christmas Cardinal painting at Texas U Can Paint.

We met early and had a quick dinner, I had a really yummy Greek salad, and then we headed to the paint studio.  There were close to 30 people in the class and for once I was not the obnoxious person... I don't think I was even in the top 5.  And Gorgeous is very classy, so it's good that even with my loud laugh I didn't stick out. (Yes, those that have heard my laugh, I kid you not... they were louder than me!)

All my life I've never really seen mom do any drawing or painting. She's an artist at needlepoint and sewing... There are two pair of needlepoint shoes that she made back in the day. Totally cool!  Tonight I found out that she had a discouraging art experience in kindergarten and that is why she doesn't put paint/crayon/pencil to paper.

Well, she kicked a$$ tonight! It was so fun watching her painting come alive.

A gorgeous painting by Gorgeous!
(and one by me)

Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." 
- Princess Leia, Star Wars IV

I received a forwarded e-mail from my friend Stacy this afternoon... that I am still giggling about. To sum up the email:

Stacy's question: "What is the advertiser and what month does it need to run?"

Person's reply: "October 2012 (Ya know when I was growing up 2012 was like star wars and we would be colonizing the planets and developing warp drive.) BTW that is still a pretty good idea since, humanity has all its' eggs in one basket, IE EARTH and one comet, large meteor or radiation blast, could send us the way of the dinosaurs."

Okay, I have decided I l-o-v-e this person and their completely random comment.  It is really too bad that they work across the country and I can't swing by and introduce myself as a fellow freak-show.

Stacy is such a good sport!  She sent this photo and a quote from Yoda as a reply.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

I had asked Stacy to please randomly deliver entertainment today. AND SHE DID! Gotta love Stacy!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Gone Fishing'

Hubby and I watched Salmon Fishing in Yemen this evening. I loved the movie on so many different levels and recommend it. I think it's a "fun flick" but also has deep under currents. (I'm proud of my water reference here...)

Anyway, I'd really like to give fishing a go. I think there are licenses involved and "seasons," so I'll research a bit and hopefully have a post about my first catch soon!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Fickle Friend

Hot dogs for dinner. My handsome boy was giving me extra moony eyes... until my last bite. Then he took his love elsewhere.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

47... or 14?

My husband just walked in and said "hey, you want to watch I Love You, Beth Cooper?"

After a few seconds I realized he wasn't kidding and I asked him if he was a 14-year-old girl...

Friday, July 20, 2012


My first girlie got braces today. We turned her :) into a :( and then into a :#.

She did pretty well considering her issues with people putting their hands in her mouth. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... I have to take chill-pills before I go to the dentist.

Umm... She looks totally adorable. When did braces become cool looking, I mean, for the money they SHOULD be cool... And now they are!

The tech totally grossed us out with a "would you eat plaque on a cracker" analogy to emphasis the importance of brushing correctly with braces. I almost barfed... For real, that was gross. Flossing is going to be hi-larious... More of a sew 'n floss now. I asked Honey if I could do a video for my blog. Not so much.

In an effort to take her mind off of the braces I was in hyper attention mode. I stopped when she said "you are officially more irritating than the braces!" Mission accomplished!

Of the many photos I took today I am only allowed to share this one. She picked her head up of the pillow and smiled :#, my beautiful girlie!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


I've been so anxious lately. Trapped, but I don't know by what. Maybe a really good scream would help? But from experience I know that you can't scream just anywhere... Can't scare the girlies.

Alone in the car? Stuck in traffic? If a tree falls... Sure, why not.

Sigh, or I can listen to the same song on repeat for an hour. Sometimes that helps too.

...or I can write this post, since I'm basically parked.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Happy birthday Gorgeous! A wonderful celebration with the family. I only got one picture of her. She's with grand-girlies number 3 and 4.

Kate, grand-girlie number 5, told me " no mor pictures... And since I'm trying to be her favorite person I complied.

Love you Gorgeous!

Saturday, July 14, 2012


The girlies and I went to get our hair cut today. They had a slumber/swim party last night... and looked like it when I picked them up.

But I didn't know just how bad it was. Candace came back from washing Caitlin's hair and said "we have a few knots."

Apparently Caitlin has been brushing the top layer of her hair and been going reggae underneath. It took Candace 5 minutes to sort out the knots... Then we cut four inches off!

Sigh. At least it was clean dreadlocks...

She got bored waiting for me.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Lap Dance

I'm a lucky girl! Siobain brought Kate and Hank out for lunch again, that's twice in one week!

After Kate finished her fettuccine she asked to sit in my lap... And after a quick sponge bath I let her. They gave us mini chocolates with the check and every time Kate took a bite she would start dancing in my lap. So adorable!

We took this picture together and I pointed where she should look... Kate thought that was the picture button and kept pushing it. I have a lot of close ups of Kate's thumb. We both thought this process was hilarious. Here we are caught mid-laugh.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Today I was visited by a long time buddy, Mike, who I don't get to hang with often enough.

Our friendship is based on humor, horror, klutz-y-ness, and being able to enjoy the company of someone completely different from you.

He makes me laugh to the snorting point and two minutes later has me fighting the urge to vomit. He once startled a scream from me so loud that we thought security would come running... They didn't, which is kinda scary.

One of my favorite memories of him is the day we were returning from lunch and we had both forgotten our card key. He made a mad dash for the doors before they closed behind another employee.

He caught his foot on the last step and performed an amazing fall-roll-to-standing maneuver. I almost wet my pants. I didn't ask him if he was okay until I could stop laughing... Not very nice of me... He likes to say "I don't trip, I test gravity."

So, Mike just got married and he was showing me his very cool, very unique, very Mike wedding ring.

"This is really cool! Where did she get it?" I asked.

"PimpJewelry.com" he replied completely seriously.

"Are you sh!tting with me?"

And with a big cheshire grin he says "yes."

And that's Mike!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wheels Off!

I'm a longtime listener, a P1 to those like-minded, of "sports radio" 1310 The Ticket. One of their oft used terms is "wheels off" and boy was I wheels off today. I don't even know what to post about.

I could post about...
...how I kept bumping into walls today.  Not discreetly, because I can't seem to do anything discreetly. I actually BOUNCED off the walls. The hallways have not narrowed. I have not gotten noticeably larger than yesterday... and yet a bumper car I became, in some sick one bumper car game.

I could post about...
...the amazing Bob W, who brightens and lightens my day any time I see him.  Today he pulled a fishing rod out of his pocket.  That's right, he pulled a fishing rod out of his pocket.  Where is my camera when I need it? His comic timing is fantastic and if he ever decides to leave the world of publishing he could make a killing in comedy.

I could post about...
...the awkward moment when I said "No, everyone needs to sit in the circle of chairs I created like an AA meeting." Really, do I need so say more than the fact that THAT statement was ushered from my lips? Yes? Let me break it down for you.

There are three ways this could be interpreted. 1) I'm an alcoholic and know how to set up a room; 2) I am making fun of alcoholics, a very hard topic to find humorous; or 3) I've watched enough movies and am crass enough to utter this statement without my brain fully approving it.

Okay, maybe there are more than three ways to interpret this situation... but number three is the winner. The prize? COMPLETE AND UTTER SILENCE. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. Then, to "break" the awkwardness I threw a jelly bean at Keith, 'cause that's something a mature person does.


I could post about...
...how mad I am at Stacy and Karen. They went to CVS and had a "Karen incident" without me! Apparently Karen ran over a trophy-wife with her shopping cart.  She's not allowed to have the incidents without me.  And to add to the atrocity, Stacy didn't take pictures. AND Stacy said the trophy-wife was very dramatic-y about the whole thing.  Like she was going to die and sue.

I could post about...
...how Vera, my therapist, has witnessed the real me.  The one that beats a dead horse. The awkward-won't-leave-a-subject-alone me.  I actually went back into her office after I left to say "we can never talk about this again and you can't be mad at me and it has to go back into the box." I. Went. Back.  I am the crazy character in her "Vera" movie. I bet she talks to HER therapist about me. (okay, maybe I'm being paranoid here. She really is one of the kindest people I know.)

I could post about...
...how I came home to tell my family about the most-wheels-off-day-ever and my husband said "wow, she's had a lot of wheels-off days"


I could post about how lucky I was to have lunch with my little Kate, handsome Hank, and beautiful Siobain.  It was so much fun! Siobain was going to be in the area and wanted to know if I could go to an early lunch. Ha-shizzle, yes!

We went for Italian because Kate will eat Italian... and put it in her lap... and in my hand... and on the floor... and in her hair.  "Angel hair pasta" has a WHOLE new meaning for me.  But I have never met such a beautiful girl. Well, not including girlies number one, two, three, and four. 

She is so fun and kept pushing the button to take a new photo.  We would say "smile" and she would... but then she would concentrate to push the button and take the picture. So adorable!

Speaking of adorable... have ya' met Hank? I've only truly loved three men in my life, Daddy, Hubby, and Hank. (As a side note I do also love my bro-in-laws Peter and Jason... but come on, can they compete with Hank?)

Monday, July 9, 2012

Girls Poo Too

It's not pretty and it's not sexy... But girls pass waste the same way boys do. After a girl is potty trained we are supposed to pretend that the ladies' room is used to wash hands and check make-up only.

If a boy farts it's gross but acceptable, if a girl farts... well what is the point of living on.

When I was in school a girl very close to me refused to poo anywhere but home. She would put herself through great pain to avoid the "humiliation" of being human. I too hated a public poo, but wasn't willing to go through that much discomfort.

There are several games we play when we have to go. A favorite is the "sit and stay until you go away." If there is another lady in the room you (the pooper) stay in the stall until they leave the room. The louder the event the more necessary the wait. Sometimes you can play the "it wasn't me game" but that requires three or more women.

The worst is when two women have poo to do at the same time. The waiting game can take forever, who leaves first? Sometimes a flush can be taken as a sign, but not always.

I have been told about a "courtesy flush" that men do. Apparently its okay to take your time but one must flush mid session to minimize odors. This does seem courteous, but not something I can do. I have sitting/flush issues. If I just got all that out of my body... I don't want a funnel of air spraying it back up.

So today... Yup, TMI.

I was rushing down the hall and was happy to make it into an empty restroom... Then the door opened behind me. SH!t, pun intended, I'm to busy to play games.

So I said to my co-worker, "I'm warning you, this isn't going to be pretty."

To my surprise she laughed and said "okay" as she turned around and walked out the door.

So refreshing!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Kate 'n Henry

I had a lovely visit with Kate 'n Henry this afternoon.  First Kate and I hung out in her bedroom (um, which is fancier than my bedroom) and then her mommy made us come out into the living room with everyone else. Hmph, we were having fun. 

Here Kate is putting on her good jewelry.  It's very pretty and she let me try it on too... well almost, it didn't fit over my head. She also showed me her nursery-rhyme bunny. A cute furry animal at first look but then you press a button and it starts moving it's head and singing.  I said it was scary... then got in trouble because Kate has recently learned that word and I could have ruined the toy. (The s-c-a-r-y toy, just sayin'.)

My main man was hanging out in Kate's infant habitat. Kate let me know it was hers (she is so adorable!) 

My beautiful sister and her handsome boy.

The big fun happened when daddy brought out the bubbles. Jelly-belly bubbles, fancy! I edited on my phone so the quality isn't great... but the star is fantastic!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Friday, July 6, 2012

Rear Window

I'm am having such a lovely time. A wonderful date with my hubby.

Two glasses of Chardonnay with a delicious shrimp scampi pasta. Peanut-butter fudge for me and chocolate toffee covered pistachios for hubby.

Waiting for my favorite Hitchcock movie to play, Rear Window, first time I've seen it on the big screen.

I've insisted on sitting in the front row and hubby loves me enough to agree.

I'm a bit tipsy and excited and spending the evening with my favorite guy!

... Did I mention Stacy gave me a coupon for dinner? Half-off. Kiss!


This week I decided I was going to start wearing makeup again. I have a very "on-again, off-again" relationship with cosmetics.

When I was thirteen my dad said "it's time for you to wear make-up. Women over a certain age should never leave the house without their face on." the problem, at the time, was I wasn't confident enough to feel comfortable in make-up. I wanted to blend, not stand out. Sure, other girls wore make-up, but they were mostly sneaking it on once they got to school... They wanted to wear it.

When I was a junior in high school I rebelled and didn't wear makeup for about six years, with very few exceptions. And then I wore it very minimally, no foundation or powder, just a little blush and mascara.

So, at 38-years-old I am still a makeup novice, often going weeks without any applied.

Today I applied under eye concealer, blush, lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, and four shades of eye shadow.

I asked beautiful Stacy what she thought and she eventually said "well, the 80's ARE coming back."

Okay, that was totally taken out of context but it gave me such a giggle!

I remind myself of Mimi from The Drew Carey Show...

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Goofy Girlies

I love this picture. I love these girls.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Finally, fireworks!

We've broken the fireworks curse, mostly. As much as I dislike heat, crowds, and fun ;) I was determined that my girlies would experience booms and lights this year.

The past four years have been, as my oldest would say, "un-believe-able." Always just missing the show or catching glimpses over trees. Not this year!

My sister wasn't sure if they could risk joining us... We have a very bad rap.

But we all got together for the garage party at the Gaylord and saw one big show and six others in the distance.

Well, almost all of us saw the show. I moved twice and each time someone would block my view... Un-believe-able!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Laters, baby.

Fifty Shades of Grey/Darker/Freed... I love this book. I hate this book.

I've read this "series" twice.  I picked the book up because so many of my friends were reading it. I've since heard this book referred to as "house-wife porn" multiple times... no doubt, this book is sexually explicit. But that's not why I read it twice.

(Side note: I'm just going to refer to the three books as one because they don't stand alone and should not have been released as three.)

Anyway, the first time I read the book I spiralled into a depression. I loved Christian and I'm a sucker for a love story and what's wrong with some good "kinky fuckery?" So why the depression?

Two of the smartest women I know thought the book was poorly written.  One stopped reading after the first "book," the other continued reading and enjoyed it. Poorly written or not, it's a good "popcorn" book, as my dad would say. (Sweet Valley High fell under "popcorn" when I was in high school. I loved me some Sweet Valley High.)

Why was THIS popcorn book having such an effect on me?  Except for "I love it" or "this is porn" I wasn't really hearing anything else from my peeps.  Certainly no one was depressed.

I did have some pause, and discussion with friends, about whether God would approve of this book. Unanimously NO :) I have a friend that skipped over some of the "fuckery" parts, so she's better than I, who read all the parts. Is this why I was depressed? A shame before God?

No. I have much more to be shamed for before God.  And I have what I think is a healthy attitude towards sex. If it feels good, is consensual between monogamous adults and doesn't involve animals... then go for it, I enjoy some "kinky fuckery" myself.

So, why? Why this affect on me?

I read the book again. I loved Christian again. I looked forward to the healing of his self-hatred.

And that's why I hate this book.  He heals. In a fairytale fashion.  The princess comes and he is healed from his self-hatred.

I have my prince. I have the man that God made for me. I am complete in all possible ways but one.

I've been working on this so long.  When will I like myself?

Monday, July 2, 2012

Banger and Mash

Michael had a very exciting birthday weekend, starting with Back to the Future on the big screen and ending with some good irish beer at Trinity Hall Pub and Restaraunt.

Hubby and the girlies went early to the pub to watch the soccer game with Sarah and Peter... they may've been the only Mexicans in the place :)... the rest of us joined for dinner after the game.  On Sundays they give you a discount equal to your age, and since hubby is 47 that's a nice deal!

I enjoyed my Banger and Mash, although I ended up eating with my hands because my little Kate borrowed my fork... totally worth it to have her beside me. (I think she got some of my banger in her hair!)

There is a live Irish music and lots of laughter.  A great place!

The middle girlies blessed us with a dance...

When we got home hubby made a wish and blew out the candles... Okay, first I blew out the candles because he wouldn't smile for the camera. I relit them after he promised not to make a goofy face.

Much love to my handsome hubby!

Sweet B'tch

Dad used to say that we got so many mosquito bites 'cause we "are so sweet." Well, I must be the sweetest B'tch around!

My team had our meeting outside today because the temperature is "so cool"... My feet were attacked mid- meeting.

No one else was bitten and no one could see any "skeeters"... So I must be crazy.

I itched so badly I felt nauseous.
So i ran to CVS and picked up some cortizone and allergy pills.

My lunch...