Monday, July 9, 2012

Girls Poo Too

It's not pretty and it's not sexy... But girls pass waste the same way boys do. After a girl is potty trained we are supposed to pretend that the ladies' room is used to wash hands and check make-up only.

If a boy farts it's gross but acceptable, if a girl farts... well what is the point of living on.

When I was in school a girl very close to me refused to poo anywhere but home. She would put herself through great pain to avoid the "humiliation" of being human. I too hated a public poo, but wasn't willing to go through that much discomfort.

There are several games we play when we have to go. A favorite is the "sit and stay until you go away." If there is another lady in the room you (the pooper) stay in the stall until they leave the room. The louder the event the more necessary the wait. Sometimes you can play the "it wasn't me game" but that requires three or more women.

The worst is when two women have poo to do at the same time. The waiting game can take forever, who leaves first? Sometimes a flush can be taken as a sign, but not always.

I have been told about a "courtesy flush" that men do. Apparently its okay to take your time but one must flush mid session to minimize odors. This does seem courteous, but not something I can do. I have sitting/flush issues. If I just got all that out of my body... I don't want a funnel of air spraying it back up.

So today... Yup, TMI.

I was rushing down the hall and was happy to make it into an empty restroom... Then the door opened behind me. SH!t, pun intended, I'm to busy to play games.

So I said to my co-worker, "I'm warning you, this isn't going to be pretty."

To my surprise she laughed and said "okay" as she turned around and walked out the door.

So refreshing!


  1. Angie Eisen-LewisJuly 9, 2012 at 10:31 PM

    That was the best! I cracked up. You have the best blogs ever.

  2. That is great. When I taught we had a small two stall faculty ladies room. I wish people would get over the embarrassment of having to go. Imagine playing the waiting game when there are only two stalls!

    Maybe there could be a sign, like how they have on porta-potties? "Vacant," "In Use," "Come Back in a Few Minutes," "Bring Some Febreeze."

  3. Do women have the same bathroom etiquette? Like never taking a stall next to someone unless there is no option? Nothing drives me more crazy than someone plopping down right next to me when I know there is a stall available 1 away on each side. And also, excessive noises in mid-process? Ever have a lady next to you that sounds like she's wrestling a woodchuck in the next stall?? It's not pleasant by any means...this is going to read anonymous, but know who I am ;)