My baby girlie is sad. The sobbing in my arms kind of sad... and she doesn't know why. I was praying it was just school anxiety and that today would be a good one because it's Saturday. A day without school and the eve of a day without school. But she's crying again and she asked if we could "tap" together.
Tapping is a technique my counselor taught me and that I have shared with the girls. We've only used it when they were having a bad day and having a hard time sharing why. Usually an easy fix for sharing and releasing feelings.
Not today. Not today.
"Why am I so sad?" she asked me between sobs. It took all my mommy skills not to burst into tears with her. Why is she so sad!?
I suggested we do something fun today, she can pick. "I just want to stay home and sleep..." No, no, no I screamed in my head! She said a movie might be fun when I pushed her for a different answer. No, I don't want her in a dark room for 3 hours either.
"I really want to see Eleanor but what if I cry and make her sad too?"
Eleanor! Thank God for my 3rd girlie Eleanor! They always have fun together. We'll go to the park and they'll have fun! But first I have to get Caitlin to stop crying and convince her to leave the house.
I used another technique my counselor has used on me. We put all her "sad" in a box and locked it tight. I made her describe the box, brown with a flap and a tie string. I asked her to gather all the "sad" from her tummy and her heart and her head and put it in the box; now wind the string really tight so it can't come out.
Before we left the house we had to have a green box... and then a blue box too. A lot of sad inside her.
"Can I let the sad out when we get home and cry if I need to?"
Okay. But let's put the "sad" away for a little while...
If this next week is no better then we are going to have to go for help. I'll love and I'll pray and I'll seek help.
I thought it would make the fun last if I made a video of today. I needed a song and chose Firework by Katy Perry...
You're original, cannot be replace
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow