I have a phrase I like to use. It's "diarrhea moment"... this does not refer to being sick and having intestinal issues... it refers to the moment in time when you realize something is wrong and you are about to:
1) be blamed
2) look like a dumb ass
3) sound like a dumb ass
4) be completely unprepared for something
5) all of the above (this is the worst kind)
I am talking about mental and emotional diarrhea moments... which can sometimes lead to actual diarrhea.
Here is a picture of a woman who has just had a dumb ass diarrhea moment:
Yes, that is me. Here is the irony... I had the diarrhea moment because of a reference to "diarrhea moments," let me explain.
I have a wonderful co-worker who shares my giggles about diarrhea moments. He's been to two Jamborees with me, the most powerful of all diarrhea moment inducing projects.
Sadly, his mother has just passed away and while at the funeral he has been put in the hospital for a kidney stone.
The office is passing around 4 cards for signatures. 2 goodbyes, 1 get well, and 1 sympathy card (for Steve). All 4 of these cards arrive at my desk and I am asked to sign them while she (the who doesn't matter) waits. While I am signing she talks about Steve going to the hospital... so when I get to the card for Steve I think "I'll cheer him up with a diarrhea moment reference"...
Of coarse I have to ask how to spell "diarrhea" and she and my boss look at me for a long moment (really long moment) and then start spelling it. As I am writing d-i-a-r-r she says "you do know that's Steve's sympathy card?"
Holy F***! I thought this one was for the kidney stone, NO! I have now written "Having a diarr" on the sympathy card for his mother's DEATH! This card is already filled with 20 other signatures, there is no going back.
At this point I am having a level 5 diarrhea moment. White out would look tacky, although one could argue that "diarrhea" would look MORE tacky, scribbling it out won't do... again, holy F***!
So, I drew a big flower over the text and wrote "sending you happy thoughts." Not good... better than diarrhea.
3) Mom is right, I should develop a more lady-like sense of humor.