Movies

Michael has taken the girlies to Galveston to visit family and see Dickens on the Strand.  Tonight I am home with my handsome boy and kitty.  We're having a movie marathon.

Movies.  I love them.  My heart aches when I watch one that I really love... even if it is horrible.  Isn't it funny how a movie can strike a chord?  I studied film in school and that should make me a discerning viewer... but I can be swept away with a good sound track and a few touching scenes. Or the nostalgia of a movie that I loved as a child, as a teen, as a single adult... even if I now see it for the "popcorn" movie that it is.

I never miss a chance to watch Girls Just Want to Have Fun when it come on television.  I can watch The Notebook over and over. Die Hard, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park and Lethal Weapon will always be favorites.  I put on the new Star Trek when I'm stressed, LOL, I fast forward it to 35:24 "Who was that pointy-eared bastard?" because I love the middle of the movie.

Star Wars (4-6) is so comforting. Anne of Green Gable, oh, I remember when I had to watch it in installments on PBS... now I can watch it as a movie.  Gilbert Blythe, my first crush. He was terrible to Anne... until he wasn't. The day dreams that character starred in... I was Anne of coarse :)

Bride and Prejudice, the "bollywood" version of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice... love it! And Clueless, based on Austin's Emma.  The creativity of these adaptation writers, you may not like it but you should respect it. Even the period versions, 1999 Mansfield Park with Embeth Davidtz,  1995 Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, 1996 Emma with Gweneth Paltrow, 2005 Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley... all wonderful in my opinion.  Movies to sit back and enjoy the romance.  Then there is 2007 Becoming Jane, a movie I own and is comforting to me... where I fell in "love" with Tom Lefroy played by the persuasive James McAvoy.

Dear Zachary, my favorite documentary ever.  A movie I recommend everyone see... where I "met" the two most human and christian people... the movie that made me reevaluate how many "stars" I'd given any other movie. 2003 Rivers and Tides, 2009 No Impact Man, 1988 The Thin Blue Line... so many more docs and even more I'd like to see.

Leaning Curve, Positive ID, and Streetballers... movies that are GREAT and I am personally invested in because I know and love the directors.

Animations... Toy Story, Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Pinoccio, Finding nemo, Snow White, Cinderella, Dumbo, Bambi, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, Jungle Book, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, Beauty and the Beast, Aladin, Mulan, Lilo & Stitch, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc, The Incredibles

Anytime movies... ET, Close Encounters, Jaws, An Ideal Husband, Much Ado about Nothing, Shattered Glass, Men In Black, Max Dugan Returns, The Man from Snowy River, All the Presidents Men, Silence Like Glass, The Princess Bride, Toy Soldiers, Murder by Numbers, Adventures in Babysitting, The Wizard of Oz

Romantic... Miss Potter, A Lot Like Love, The Lake House, Just Like Heaven, The Prestige, Love and Basketball, He Said She Said, Far and Away, Bridget Jone's Diary

Random... Batman Begins, Guess Who, Harry Potter (all), Sherlock, Bottle Shock, Julia and Julia, Agnes of God, Electric Horseman, The Young Victoria, Tootsie, Mystic Pizza, Contact, Steel Magnolias, The Game, Boiler Room, Frost/Nixon, Scream, Capote, Sybil, Proof, Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, Morning Glory

Hitchcock... North by Northwest, Psycho, To Catch a Thief, Rear Window, Sabatoge, Suspicion, Notorious, Rope, Vertigo, Marnie

Funky movies... The House of Yes, Secretary, Stranger than Fiction, Moon, Kissing Jessica Stein, Memento, The Perfect Host, Boogie Nights, Sunshine Cleaning, Phoebe in Wonderland, Carolina, Birth,  The Usual Suspects, Waiting for Guffman

My classics... Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Driving Miss Daisy, Stand By Me, An Affair to Remember, Gidget, Sixteen Candles, A Few Good Men, Gosford Park, Arsenic and Old Lace, All That Jazz, Casablanca, Murphy's Romance, Some Like It Hot, Dial M for Murder, The Swan, War Games, Harvey, Miracle on 34th Street

Thrillers... The Exorcist, The Others, The Sixth Sense, Seven, Kiss the Girls, State of Play, Primal Fear, The Fugitive, National Treasure, Double Jeopardy, Fracture, The Bone Collector, Iron Man, Spy Game, Lost Boys, The General's Daughter, Inside Man, The Negotiator, Mission Impossible, Enemy of the State, Copycat

Forign... Ponett, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, (...Who Played with Fire), (... Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest),  I've Loved You So Long, Run Lola Run, The Chorus, Tell No One, Dogtooth, Heavenly Creatures, The Secrets, La Femme Nikita

Musicals... Moulin Rouge, Chicago, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Bye Bye Birdie, Those Damn Yankees, Singing In the Rain, Meet Me In St. Louis, High Society, Holiday Inn, Gypsy, Annie, Grease, The King and I, Mary Poppins, The Music Man, White Christmas

Just to name a few :)  The good, the bad, and the freaky... too many to list.

My "making movie lists" face...

A string of bad decisions...

It's Monday... perhaps I should allow a magic eight-ball to make my decisions for me tomorrow.

For instance... when I, for some reason, decided to put my hair in pig-tails this morning the magic-eight-ball may have warned me "outlook not so good."

Or when I thought that it was a good day to wear my "Roz" glasses it might have said "concentrate and try again later."

Sigh.

Today's "fashion" choices did not hit me until I was powdering the CEO of... 

well, a top 10 company in the US. 

So there was that. And I could also have used some advice against the Venti Chai Latte*... It's like 100 degrees out... and it cost $4.00... and I bought it at the hotel bar and for some reason added a $1.00 tip**.  No surprise it gave me diarrhea***.  Yeah, I said it... because I don't have a magic-eight-ball to advise me not to.

Magic-eight-ball says: *My reply is no; **My reply is no; and ***Outlook not good

So, despite my hubby's comment "don't spend any money" I went shopping... I need a ring.  I know it seems silly.  But I'm a little bit of a flirt.  A harmless one.  When I was slender it was fine because I had my ring and it "protected" me and stopped anyone from taking me seriously. 

Now... let's just say my ring doesn't fit anymore... and positions have flipped, I need a ring to protect my flirtees. I'm a much larger, way older, ringless flirt and it's starting to freak people out.  I want to say, "no, you've got me wrong.  I'm not interested in you.  Please don't run... or awkwardly mention your wife and children. I'm married too. With two girls. I'm not interested." But that just makes it worse.  

So a ring will solve that problem.

The magic-eight-ball might have steered me away from this ring, but the price was right.  I also bought that black bag (purse?)  I needed a bag. Mine has fallen apart.  I hate picking out bags. I called my sister 3 times to ask questions. This one is really small.  I thought it was just big enough for my wallet, phone, e-reader, ipod, lipstick (which I'm not committed too), sunglasses, and keys.

Well, it's too small for my e-reader... so now I'm going to have to commit to my lipstick.

I also picked up this tote.  This is the one decision I don't question today.  

I love it.  It's me. 

It will fit my bag, my e-reader, my laptop, and laptop cords. 

;)K

Looking towards heaven...

This weekend was difficult for me.

Would being a stay-at-home mother benefit the life of my children?

Yes. But those are not the cards I have to play. I'm so fortunate to have a wonderful job that provides for my family.  That provides satisfaction and a sense of contribution to society.  But at what cost to my girlies?

A teacher conference on a Friday afternoon sent me reeling.  Overwhelmed me.  I was expecting raving reviews of how wonderful and smart and attentive my baby girl is.  And I got those raves, along with a cold dose of reality.  My baby girl needs some special attention. They call it Tier 2.  Nowhere near remedial, but not progressing at a "normal" pace either.  She reads at the correct level, so well that we didn't realize she isn't comprehending what she's reading.  Maybe she's daydreaming while reading... that's my hope. I'm a day dreamer too.

But she can't explain the story line.  Can't explain in her own words what is happening in the story.  We'll go back to picture books, because the pictures will help her understand the story.  We'll still read chapter books, but review what happens on each page.  We'll read to her, see if that helps her pay attention to the story. No more independent reading for a while.

Mathematics.  No comprehension there either.  She will participate in classroom lessons.  Then she will be put in a smaller group and learn the lessons from a second teacher.  Hopefully learning the lesson from two different teaching styles will help comprehension.

Her spelling and vocabulary are excellent. Memorization is a breeze for Caitlin.  She is so smart, no doubt about that.  We just need to adjust to her learning process.

My fear is that I am not a teacher.  I don't think that way.  So I can read with my daughter and ask her questions to see if she is comprehending.

I can run math quizzes (actually I'm giving this to hubby.)

But I'll need to add a tutor if the problem is not solved with these changes.  Someone who is trained in teaching and recognizing student issues.

Sadly, and I am so embarrassed to admit this, my first reaction to this conference was "I can't add anything else to my plate." This is too overwhelming.  Losing weight, improving at work, staying alive, bringing God into my children's life, healthy eating, adequate sleep, putting effort into my marriage, staying connected to my teenager, improving my self esteem... these are in no particular order... and no more than everyone else needs to deal with... but on Friday, adding learning challenges seemed impossible.

So I melted down.  I sent a text to my sisters and mother... emergency contact only, call Michael, I'm offline. I didn't want to talk about it... I wanted to hide from it.

And so I've looked to God.

(my visual representation of looking to God)

I'm asking God to help me. And he has.  We've started a new reading regime with Caitlin.  It will bring us closer.  It will be my current priority.  The rest I'll leave for God to hold for me, until I am strong enough, because He is strong and watching out for me. He "has my back" as the phrase goes... And my front, side, top, bottom and soul.

We should always be improving ourselves... so I already have a list to last my lifetime.  And more will crop up... and I'll re-prioritize.

So when you find yourself wondering why someone is fat, or eating out, or disorganize, or always late... there are so many things we find wrong with others and judge... just remember that they may have a list... and are just dealing with what they can, at that time... and hopefully trusting in God to keep the to keep the other balls in the air.

King Gas History

We had a funny day today.

First there was homework in the morning.  When hubby got home he was a little irritated, apparently people park their brains before entering the airport.  He felt a little better after we laughed at his stories.  Even the girls got a kick out of them...

1st... some lady accused him of looking at her breasts.  That's like one small part of the story... but it's the BEST part.

2nd... someone tried to fly with a swiss army knife... and hubby almost got knifed in the thigh when it was dropped with the knife extended (all by accident.)

3rd... some moron couple x-rayed their dog.  For real.  Put it through the machine. I would have taken the dog away from them because they are obviously too stupid to own a pet.

He was in a better mood after he made us laugh.  We decided to go see The Lion King, but in 2D because we are not big fans of 3D... not enough bang for the buck.

We all really enjoyed the movie on the big screen.  I always love the music.  I couldn't understand why the girlies were giggling so often... until I found out that every time Mufasa would talk hubby whispered "cooooohhhh paaaaahhh," that's Darth Vader breathing....

After the movie I wanted to go visit Gorgeous and go to Half-price bookstore.... but honey so much homework we didn't have time to do both.  We'll see Gorgeous tomorrow so we decided to hit the book store.

Somethin' 'bout those 2nd hand books... I had the WORST onset of gas ever.  There was no dog to blame it on either.  Everyone has gas.  I know. But I prefer to blame it on others... the girlies laughed at me as I made a mad dash for the ladies room.  Fireworks popping in my wake...

Honey was getting anxious, not because of my gas issue, but because she has so much homework!  She has scheduled her time and to keep on schedule she had to finish 2 portions of her history project tonight.

She is such a good girl!  I'm so proud of her!

Caitlin.... well, 3rd grade doesn't have the same pressures...

Caitlin re-enacting a Lion King dance.

Caitlin's lion roar on pride rock.

We were going to have pasta for dinner.  Hubby went and picked it up from a place down the street.  For honey we had asked for the aflredo on the side... it soaked the bag and when hubby went to take it out of the car we had pasta everywhere.  Not a good end to his day.

So now I don't know what we are having for dindin... but we'll eat something :)

Wackadoo

Last night of vacation.  I don't count tomorrow night because it is the eve of a work day. And when I say "last night of vacation" I mean for 2011.  No more vacation days this year.

But oh my! It has been nice to have a whole week off!

Wanna know how I celebrated my last night of VC?... A necked coaster ride!

tehehehehehe he he

Just kidding. No, I haven't been drinking. No, I'm not really necked.

Wanna know how you can tell this superior photo is a fake?

1. You can see my monitor reflection in my glasses.

2. Part of my neck and shoulder are missing. ("green screen" issues)

3. My hair is not flapping in the wind.

and...

4. My... (whisper) boobies... aren't flapping over my shoulder.

I crack myself up! Do you see how I put all my acting skills to work with my scared face?

***

Also giving me the title of wackadoo is the email I sent to all of Honey's teachers... She is going into 7th grade and if you've read previous posts you know I suck at stalking, snooping, and generally being nosey.  So I decided to take the bull by the send button. (Get it? instead of HORNS I used my email... maybe I should say "by the mouse"... except I don't have a mouse.  So we are sticking with send button.)

Anywho. Yes! I did email all of her teachers...

Hello all,

My daughter, Siobain (pronounced shavon), is in your classes this year.  I know Siobain will learn all your class rules the first day of school and that she will get to know each of you. You will be spending a collective 7 hrs a day with my daughter and I would also like to know a little about each of you.

I look forward to Siobain learning and growing this year. You all know more about this age group and the changes they go through than I;  Siobain is our oldest and we are learning as we go.

If you have the time and the inclination I would appreciate hearing back from you.

How long and what subjects have you taught?

What is something you wish the parents of your students knew?
What is the most helpful thing I can do for your class this year?
Anything else you would like to share or would like me to know?

My husband and I will be attending the new parent Q&A on the 25th and we look forward to meeting each of you on the 8th.

I realize that Siobain will be 1 of more than 90 students for each of you. She is 1 of 2 daughters for me.  I will support Siobain and each of you in any way I can this year.  Please let me know when there is anything I can do or anytime you need something.

Yes, I'm a little bit crazy but usually in a good way.

Thank you and have a great school year!

Kathleen

And then I put all my contact information.  Here is the deal.  I would rather be an informed wackadoo than just your average necked-roller coaster-riding wackadoo. I want them to know that she has parents who are involved, who want to be part of a team, who respect them as teachers and people.

Also, I did NOT attach the necked-roller coaster-wackadoo photo. I thought that was showing great restraint on my part.

***

Whew.  If that isn't enough wackadoo for you... I also LOST MY PHONE IN TARGET.  I'm phoneless.  I feel necked.

I CRACK MYSELF UP!

I hope you all have a good "last night of wackadoo's vacation" night too.

Bonus - Pronouns are important...

My house. Your house. 

This is my house.

The pronoun "your" would have saved me from social awkwardness this evening... well, at least one of the awkward moments :)

Tonight we went to meet Caitlin's teacher and see her new classroom.  We brought her girlie friend with us because I didn't know what time she was being picked up.  Her mom called while we were at the school and we had a quick conversation about how to get the girlie friend back to her mom. She said whatever is easiest for me...

Here is what I said, "Okay, I'll drop her at the house." Meaning... It is more convenient for me to bring her to your house after the open house so I don't feel rushed.

Here is what she heard, "Okay, I'll drop her at the house." Meaning... It is more convenient for me to bring her to my house so I don't have to make the drive to your house.

So after sitting in her car at my house for half an hour she sent me a text: Ur neighbors r getting suspicious!!

I found this text very confusing... until I spoke with her and found out that she was sitting in my drive waiting at "the" my house.

Tehehehehe he.

Caitlin's teacher seems charming.  AND Shona's son is in the class too.  It was so nice to hear a (loud) "Kathleen" when I entered the room. Made the event much easier for me to have someone I know and trust there.

Bonus - Don't talk about it!

We picked up Honey's school schedule this afternoon. (I was very impressed with myself for being able to go to the school, therapy really is working.) Anyway, back to Honey.

She was not a happy camper.  If I could go buy her a pair of rose-colored-glasses I would. Somehow she had been holding out hope that even though I made her sign up for all pre-AP classes they would be full and she wouldn't have to take them.  Poor thing... of coarse she's in all AP classes.  But she also got into theater and art, her first two elective picks!

She looked at her schedule for about 10 seconds and then we headed off to find all her classrooms.  I kept having to refer to the list... apparently she memorized the whole thing in 10 seconds.  I miss having a brain.

So... all she needs to bring to school on the first day is a notebook and pencil.  There was no meeting the teachers tonight.  No school supply list. This is the next step.  One more step closer to adulthood and one step farther from apron strings. (Not that I've ever worn an apron.)

Not to worry, I'll be able to meet the teachers next week.  And I've already stalked them all on the school website.  I think two of her teachers are married to each other... or they're siblings, but I think probably married. She's got 3 male teachers this year.  Which is great.  She hasn't had a male teacher before.

As we walked out of the building I was instructed that she had a few days of summer and that school was off limits. "DON'T talk about it! I am going to enjoy my last few days as much as possible!"

Apparently, denial runs in the family. She wasn't kidding either. I found her at the table...

YouTube, Nintendo DS, and drawing... she really is going to soak in as much "me" time as possible for the next 4 days.

Dancing Flamingo

I called in an asked for another vacation day.  And I am so glad that I did.  We had such a fun day.  We didn't do anything "special" just ran around.

Well, we started the day off planning to do something special.  My third girlie is in another stage production, Willy Wonka, and we were going to see the 10:00am show. We were on the waiting list because it was sold out... so close to getting in but we didn't.

Next...

We wanted to have lunch with them so we decided to hang out in the area until the show was over.  Being the wild and crazy kids that we are, we hit up the local library.  It's really nice!  They have a great reading room.  We all picked a book to read while we waited for the cousins.  Hubby surprised us by getting a local library card... so we could take our unfinished books with us.

Caitlin was uncontrollable with the "has Aunt Sarah called yet?" question every five minutes.  "How long until the show is over?"...  Total cliche "are we there yet?" moment... for an hour. LOL!

Lunch was a lot of fun. The girlies had their own table and Sarah, hubby and I actually got to have a conversation!

Next...

Then two doors down for some frozen yogurt...

(photo by Sarah)

Again... we are able to all look in different directions.  Our family is unbelievable!

Sarah told hubby that his shirt "hurt like a hang over" which I thought was hi-larious. She said that quote came from the tv show Will & Grace.  I don't care where it came from... if the quote fits... (more about the shirt later.)

Next...

The girlies begged to go to the pet store... they were not ready to separate.  So we hung out at the PetSmart.  They have a doggy daycamp.  One of the walls is just a big window looking at their play room. Best free entertainment ever.  I really don't know how long we all stood there watching and laughing at the dogs playing.

We picked up some food for my handsome boy and I fell in love with this rubber dancing flamingo.

(photo by Sarah)

Hubby said "no"... "Sparticus won't like it"

I vetoed that argument and the truth came out "it makes me uncomfortable."

What? Why? What?!... 

We all wanted to know why he would be uncomfortable with a dog toy.

LOL

It's a squeak toy and he didn't like the placement of the hole... tehehehehee

A picture of the hole for your enjoyment.

Of coarse I won and we brought the toy home.

It was love at first sight.  Who couldn't love this face?

Thank you MOM!

kissy kissy kissy

Look mom, she's taking a bow.

Okay, so after lunch but before we brought flamingo home, we had to go to the bank.  Michael was in line and this old guy turns to Michael and says "I'll wrestle you for that shirt." Michael having been told, just an hour before, that his shirt is unacceptable doesn't know if this guy was making fun of him.  I so wish I was there for the awkwardness.  Makes me giggle.

Babies... and Lightning

I'm always jarred when my phone rings on the "set" - even if I'm the one directing.  Such poor etiquette.

I answered the phone quickly as I walked out of the room.

Complete sobbing on the other end.  I could tell Caitlin was talking but couldn't understand any words.

My heart stopped.  We have a substitute sitter today.  Someone we trust.  But still.

I can't get her to calm down.  She can't breathe she's sobbing so hard.  I think I hear "I don't want to have a baby."

What? Scenarios run through my head. Is there a baby there? Is a baby hurt? Is someone in labor?

I ask if Honey is there and can I talk to her.

My very calm 12 year old is able to explain.  The sitter was watching a TV show about women who don't know they are pregnant until they are at the hospital.  Caitlin is terrified that she might be pregnant and that this will happen to her.

Put Caitlin on back on the phone.  

So in the main hall of the 1st floor of my office building this is approximately what one could overhear...

Caitlin, this can't happen to you... It's not possible... You can't have a baby...  Caitlin, calm down.  I promise you can't have a baby...  Your aren't old enough to have a baby. I promise God hasn't made your body ready yet...  Caitlin. Caitlin, you remember how babies are made? You would have to do that first... It won't happen by itself... Your sister can't have babies yet either and she's four years older than you.  I promise you won't have a baby...  It's okay if you never want to have a baby.  

Sobbing has subsided. Put your sister back on the phone.

Siobain said she would put on a cartoon and cuddle her awhile.

through these innocent eyes

When I got home hubby told me he'd let me handle the girlie stuff.  He just explained using lightening...

Okay... I have had 2 children with this man and am DYING to know what lightning has to do with this topic. (Don't get me wrong, sparks fly and the earth moves, but lightning?)

As explained by hubby, Caitlin doesn't need to worry about having a baby because we are teaching them about good behavior.  And we talk about where babies come from and how babies are made.  And we know that we aren't supposed to make babies until we are married. It's just like... lightening.  Who is going to get struck by lightening? The girl who goes out and plays in it? Or the girl who stays inside when there is a storm?

Apparently, and to my surprise, this analogy seemed to have cleared the whole issue up.... but I'll still have a chat with her to review the facts of life.

Just another normal day.

In Commando of the Situation...

My day began with a bag of smiley balls...

... and ended with a commando walk out of the office.

The Situation

My day started with an anonymous "Good Turn" by placing a ball and tag (photo above) at each of my co-workers seats. (Ok, it's not anonymous if you are one of the 2 people reading this blog... but I think my secret is safe.) Anyway. I got into work at 5:30 so that I could print the warnings and place the balls (giggle) before anyone got to work.

By 6:00 am I was on a roll getting tons of work done.  It's amazing how much work can be accomplished before anyone else arrives to work.

I KNOW, where is the COMMANDO?  I'm getting there.

Today I was wearing a dress (which is rare) and black, absorbent as it turns out, shoes. I was also very excited about my office rug that arrived (photo tomorrow).  Just setting the scene.

I had a visitor after lunch.  Duc is soooo charming.  And sweet. And quiet. And I adore him.  He stops by occasionally when he needs a break from the programmers bull pen, like, once a month. Twice if I'm lucky.  I am always so glad to see him.

I don't know if he will EVER return for a visit again. -- Before I continue, you should know I had just gotten back from a delicious mediteration lunch and my stomach was full and satisfied.

We were chatting, first about my new rug, then about his car accident, naturally flowing into his destination during the car accident - a Vietnamese Supermarket. Which led further conversation to other markets.  I've been to an authentic Mexican market and have often gone to Indian markets. He joked that sometimes he questions how they qualify for the city inspection certificates.  We both laughed... and you just have to go to one to understand.

This led to my tales of lunch with Faisal and  Jim back in the good ol days when I got to eat Pakistan/Indian at least once or twice a week.  We had our dives (and I mean complete dives) that we would go to.  The people were so wonderful and nice and food was fantastic.  So you overlook a few things. And they all loved Faisal and Jim and were very nice to the Caucasian girl who poorly pronounced her order.

I decided to tell Duc the story of one of my lunches... It should be noted that my gag reflex is now immune to this story because I have repeated it so many times.

The story - Faisal, Jim, and I were at one of our favorite dives.  It was the most "restauranty" of all the dives.  The food was delicious and cheap. I was sitting next to a wall.  As I was eating a 2 inch cockroach starts walking up the wall. Jim and Faisal, continuing to eat, claiming that "all restaurants have roaches." This would not change my mind "those restaurants have the decency to keep the roaches out of the dining room!"

Hahahah... Duc and I laughed at the story.

He had a similar experience. The one and only time he went to Hooters, against his will, because all his co-workers said the wings were the best ever. Duc is not the kind of guy that would go to a place call "Hooters".  One of his co-works decided not to go for the wings and ordered a salad instead.

As the salad-ordering-co-worker was about to take his first bite a roach crawled from under the lettuce leaves of the salad. 

This was the first of my hyper-sensitive GAG reflexes.

Duc continued the story, not realising how sensitive by Gag reflex is.

I then had three rapidly consecutive, but controlled Gag reflexes.  Ending in a fourth uncontrolled Gag reflex that produced... lunch.

I make it to my trash can, kinda, but the flood gates had opened. In between bouts I told Duc he best leave.  Another wave... this one with the distinct need to urinate.

A mad dash down the hall.  Made it just inside the ladies room when I completely lost it.  Fortunately they keep a lined trash basket right inside the door so I was able to empty the contents of my stomach... and unfortunately the contents of my bladder.

By lucky chance I was wearing (very rare occurrence) a dress. So my blatter was able to empty itself in an orderly fashion right to my shoes. My very absorbent shoes.

Feeling better... or at least confident that the vomiting was over. I squished to the sink to rinse my mouth and assess the vomit damage.  Nope.  This dress was not salvageable without a good visit to the cleaners. After cleaning as best I could I squished to the stall to asses the urine damage. Nope, the panties were not salvageable with out several runs through the washing machine. Not even at an acceptable  level to wear getting home.  I dried off my legs and confirmed that my left shoe was also not salvageable... but was the hero of the situation by collecting all the urine.

Leaving the ladies room COMMANDO (per this situation I use "ladies" loosely) I went back to my office to assess the situation. Damn, my brand new carpet.  Yes just a bit, but still, this is not the christening I was expecting. A spilled coffee or soda,  maybe some less damaging water... but vomit?  Cleaned the small mess with my every trusty Clorox wipes.  Sealed the garbage bag, as I had done in the restroom and went to let my boss know I would be leaving immediately.

"Why?" was the first thing Peter asked. 

"Because I have just vomited and peed all over myself." 

"that was too much information"

"You asked. What exactly did you want me to say"

"Personal girl problems"

"Noted"

Then I proudly walked commando out of the office.  With a short detour to Karen's cube to share, what I have come to see as a highly entertaining situation.

At the beginning of the day my theory was that smiles are contagious.  By the end of the day, based on Peter and Karen's reactions, I've added to my theory that Gagging is also contagious.

Thank God

I have a lot  to thank God for.

Big things and little things.  My life is full of joys and blessings.

i have my girlies

my girlies are healthy

and happy

and smart

and kind

and safe

i have my husband

my husband is wonderful

and hard working

and funny

and smart

and kind

he takes care of me when i'm afraid

he loves our girlies more than words can express

he teaches them to be happy

and smart

and kind

i have my mother

my mother loves me

and prays for me

and worries about me

and she is healthy

and smart

and kind

and she is gorgeous to my girlies

and makes their lives fuller

i have spartacus

my handsome boy

is warm

and cuddly

and fierce

and brave

and loving

i have kitty

who is here when she wants

and hides when she wants

and purrs if you pet her

and her purrs heal us

and make us happy

i have sisters

who are always there

no matter what

and they are inspiring

and role models

and friends

they are who i want to be with

and who i trust

and they are healthy

and smart

and kind

i have a job

that is challenging

and fun

and meaningful

it is a job i love

and work hard at

and wish to keep

i have a house

that is a home

and a haven

and safe

it has a kitchen with plenty of food

and bedrooms with warm safe beds

and bathrooms with running warm water

and a backyard for my family to play

i have health care and insurance

and doctors that care

and medicines for our ailments

and someone to talk to

who is teaching me 

to live and not just survive

and letting go of the bad

and keeping the good

and letting God take care of me 

and i have God

who saves me

and us

and i'm learning to talk to Him

and i have so much more that i am thankful for

and i will tell Him

as i talk to Him

PMS-B

TMI Warning

So, in the midst of the girlies slumber party I turned into a raging bitch.  Thankfully hubby, after noting that "'Disneyland' is closed," took over most of the host duties... as I was tending towards a host resembling Freddie Krueger.

Freddie Krueger*

He did a great job entertaining the girls... expect for the screaming and laughing and having fun that was seriously making me want to kill someone.

The worst of it was this morning when Michael had to leave for a few minutes and I felt that I had to step up as the supervisor.  The count down began for the "mean" girl and the "whining" girl to going home (I'm sure that if I were not in 'Freddie Krueger' mode I would have found them charming and normal little girls)... The other three girlie guests I know and love... and would have supervised from my bedroom by saying "don't set anything on fire" and "come and get me if you need me."

Finally Michael got home (after what felt like a day and a half) and immediately sent Freddie back to bed.  With my heating pad, anti-Freddie meds, and a relatively quiet house I settled down.  Hubby took the remaining 5 girlies (my two and their besties) to see a movie.

Ahhhh.  I cuddled up with my handsome boy and turned on the tv to take a nap.  Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace was the best thing on. It was perfect because I needed something familiar and comfortable that wouldn't drag me into the story line... so I could fall asleep and let the meds to the work.

I slept on and off all afternoon and two dream-like items were constant throughout the afternoon. First, apparently there was a Star Wars marathon on... making time very confusing as the same characters were onscreen all afternoon.  Second, PMS-B always seemed to be looking at me... eyes following in a creepy way.

PMS-B: the Pink Menacing Stuffed Bunny

aka... Caitlin's favorite bunny

8:00 pm and Freddie is gone... but mildler PMS remains.  The Star Wars marathon is still running, but now we are on the "good" ones and I will watch Star Wars IV: A New Hope for a bit.  I should be back to normal tomorrow, although some would say there is a bit too much "bitch" in my "regular" personality...

*Freddie Krueger photo was taken from imbd.com who credit © 1984 - New Line Cinema - All Rights Reserved – Image courtesy mptvimages.com.

TGIF... Maybe?

So,  today was gonna be awesome! Moving day at work so we HAD to leave at noon. I was going to sneak off and do some lunchtime shopping with some girl friends and then see a movie.

But Caitlin had an emotional breakdown this morning. She desperately misses her  2nd grade teacher and school in general.  So I promised I would pick her up early (and not go have my afternoon of bliss.)

When I got to work the air conditioning wasn't working... so packing the last of my bits of my office was a sweaty job.

Migraine developed around 5:30... it's a pounder.

And now... there are 5 extra girlies screaming and running around my house.  One of them I'm a bit frightened of... I think she could take me.

All of this is worth it for my girlies summertime fun... plus hubby said he'd do all the work :)

Does Ebber's fit in the box?

She sure does!  On the way to take a pic of "Ebber In A Box" in her bosses office... we ran into  Jim, our boss's boss while I was wheeling her down the hall... awkward. But funny!

We also had a visitor in the office today.  Stephen saved this little guy from sure death on the street... although I'm not sure that the turtle realized this. I think he thought we were torturing him.

Some days...

...you just go back to bed.

Woke up this morning on time!

Girlies were cooperative and we are ready to leave the house at 6:05!

Grab my phone.

Grab my bag.

Grab my...

Where are my keys? Not in all the "usual" places. Not in all the "unusual" places. I'm actually breaking into a sweat look for these damn keys.

Asked the girlies to help me find my keys... but, let's face it, unless the keys jumped up and bit them on the nose my girlies would not find them.

Have removed every item from my bag.  They really are not in there. Called the hubby to see if he saw them before he left... he started lecturing me on putting them in the right place blah blah blah blah... so I had to let him go.

I went and looked in the window of the car. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit. There they are. Safely locked in my car.

Called hubby back and asked him if he knew where the spare key was.  Two keys in the drawer. YAY!... both to the other car. So beaten down.  Working up a new sweat looking for the spare key.

Called hubby back... told him I couldn't find the spare, was going to have to take a vacation day, AND was going to have to go have keys made when he gets home. He says "no, you can't just make keys whenever... blah blah blah blah blah" more lecturing... so I had to let him go.

Texted the sitter that the girlies weren't coming.

E-mailed the office that I couldn't make it in.

E-mailed my counselor that I wasn't going to make my appointment.

All by 6:45 AM.

I was overwhelmed, feeling stupid, mad at Michael for lecturing me when I was down, mad at myself that I had to "waste" a vacation day... and I crashed.

Woke up at noon with a killer migraine.

Hubby got home.  Apologized. He had the spare keys in his glove box. He could see from the keys in the car that this was a total accident and not me being absent minded. He'll rub my head to help my migraine.

Still have my migraine... but now I also have my keys.  So I'll be able to make it to work tomorrow. In retrospect... I wish I had said "well, since I gotta take a vacation day, what can we do that is super fun!?"

Lesson Learned:

9) If you are taking a vacation day (for whatever reason) enjoy it as much as possible... or you'll regret it at 8:30 pm.

***

The Other Woman

Kitty l-o-v-e-s hubby!

And doesn't think she should have to share.

Look at her giving me the evil eye.

Cat and Mouse

Sooo... there was a little mischief in my life today.  I arrived to work, after missing a day to stay home with my sick girlie, to find this under my computer mouse:

artist unknown

There are several things I love about this sticky note...

1. it is a great sketch of a cat's ass.

2. it was UNDER my computer mouse.  Leading to the assumption that:

     i. my computer mouse had been eaten by said cat; and

     ii. my computer mouse had been digested by said cat; and

     iii. my computer mouse had been defecated by said cat

3. I have no idea who this artist is.

4. Artist returned to my office at some point today and added "again" to the sticky note

Conclusion: I love this person.

I also love my real cat, Kitty.  Who is very hard to photograph.  She lives in our bathroom and comes out only at night to cuddle with my hubby (my Kitty has excellent taste.)

The story of Kitty

When I was a young girl... oh so long ago... I was working on my very first movie, Detention. It was so exciting to work on this movie.  For several reasons: it's a movie; it's a good movie; it was written, produced and directed by my hero Andy Anderson; I fell in love with my husband; made my father proud; and found my cat, Kitty.

So, I stopped for gas on the way to work and there was this cute little "kitten" sitting at the door of the gas station.  I had to move the cat in order to go in and pay (this pre-dates "pay at the pump.")

"Is that your cat?" I asked of the attendant.

"No, it's just a stray" they said.

So, I took the cat to work.  And named her Bob, after the producer of the movie.

Dad flipped (I was living at home) but he loved me.  It was just a cat.

Well, "Bob's" stomach started moving like crazy.  Turned out "bob" was a girl... a pregnant one!

We soon welcomed six kittens into the world. Many wonderful people adopted these cats.

Kitty is at least 14 years old.  Anti-social. Fat as can be. And part of the family.

Through the years my children have tried to change her name to Mrs Cravets, Clarissa, and Meany. Her official name is Kitty.

Hubby has wanted to put her on a "diet"... I say she's got to put up with two kids and a dog, let her eat whatever she wants.

She's a very fat cat.

"I had to stare"

Wednesday through Friday I wake the girlies up for school.  Siobain is dressed and brushing her hair within 5 minutes.  Caitlin... is molasses.  Today...

6:45 (girlies sleeping... looking adorable)

Me: Get up girlies.

6:50 (Siobain, dressed and on her way to the kitchen for breakfast.)

Me: Caitlin, get up.

Caitlin: Oh, I dreamed I got up.

Me: Well, get up for real.

Caitlin: (sigh) ok.

7:10 (Siobain, ready and reading. Caitlin... sitting in a chair, staring into space... still in her pjs)

Me: Caitlin?... (I've squatted to be on her level)

Caitlin: Hmmm?

Me: Why aren't you dressed?

Caitlin: I had to stare.

Me: (completely stumped...) Can you get dressed now?

Caitlin: ok.

7:20 (Siobain, still reading. Caitlin at the kitchen table.)

Me: Go brush your hair Caitlin.

Caitlin: I don't like that brush.

Me: (Silent, but meaningful look at Caitlin's hair.)

Caitlin: I think the one I like is in the car.

Me: Fine. 

7:25 (Siobain, still reading. Caitlin still at the kitchen table. I'm at the door.)

Me: Okay, let's go girlies. 

Caitlin: I don't have shoes on.

Me: Put on flip-flops, let's go.

Caitlin: It's PE today.

Me: You'll have to miss today, I don't have time.

Caitlin: I could put "tena-shoes" and socks in my bag and change later. They let us do that.

Me: (amazed at Caitlin's lucidity) Ok.

7:27 (Caitlin, getting into the car in all her medusa glory)

7:29 (Car started, backing up.)

Siobain: I forgot my lunch.

Caitlin: I did too.

Me: (do they need to eat today?...) Siobain, go get them.

7:34 (Driving)

Caitlin: There isn't a brush in here.

Siobain: Do you want me to comb it with my fingers? (So sweet)

Me: Put it in this rubber band.

Caitlin: (with pony-tail) Do I have any bumps.

Siobain: Yes... a little.

(Caitlin takes out her pony-tail)

Me: Why'd you take out your pony-tail?

Caitlin: My ears will get cold.

Me: What?!

Caitlin: My ears will get cold.

Gotta love my girlies...

Time Flies

Had a wonderful day with friends. Great time in a creative environment.  Only a few work calls... I kept them down to a minimum because Karen kept giving me the evil eye.

The first 4 hours flew by re-imagining my office clock.  I'm going with a green color scheme with pink and brown accents in my office.  The clock fits in perfectly now. I'm also going to slip-cover the back of my office chair.  So excited.

It's ironic that Karen is displaying the end product... since she and the other ladies had major timing issues this morning.  "It opens at 9:00." - "What time are you getting there? Get there as close to 9:00 as possible." - "I think I'll get there at 8:45 so I can get started as soon as they open."

I arrived at 9:00... and we all crowded into "The Little Blue House" for our day of scrapping... It was a bit awkward since they don't open till 10:00.  Te he.

So, the major drama at this scrapping event, there is always drama... a penis. Not a real one.  Well, yes, it is a real one... but I mean, not a "live-in-person" one.  Anyway, said penis was texted to one of the ladies (I honestly don't know who) and a phone was passed around.

Let. me. tell. you. something. It is startling to be passed an electronic visual of a penis when not expecting it... mmmm, actually I think it's startling even if you ARE expecting it. But this could due to the fact that I don't run around with a "penis picture wielding" crowd... perhaps you become immune?

It's girls-gone-wild afternoon scrapbooking.  No harm-no foul.

Except this one woman INSISTED on seeing the photo and then "acted" all offended.  I think she even looked at the photo twice... awkward. I'm pretty sure she would have looked a third time if she could of figured a moral outrage angle.

Anywho, she was entertaining... (also entertaining is the use of the word penis 5 times in this post.)

Back to moi.  I tried quilling for the first time today.  It is very fun. But not easy.  Here are the results of 3 hours labor...  A square apple and a blue bird... each the size of a quarter.  3 hours, not kidding.

I think my first attempts are pretty good.  I look forward to more quilling... Karen suggested that they might enjoy it if I started quilling in the office... apparently I concentrate so hard I stop talking.  There is a first for everything.

Gas, Sweat, and Tears

Had a busy day today.

Needed gas on the way to work... but was in a hurry, so it could wait.

3 back to back am meetings then to first Dr. appointment.

Needed gas on the way... but last meeting ran late, so it had to wait.

Doctor appointment was very enlightening, learned the "tap process."  Cried many tears. Healthy. Cleansing. Then to offsite production meeting.

Needed gas on the way... but traffic was bad and I'm running late, so it had to wait.

Very productive production meeting at Chick-fil-e, cause that's how I roll. Then back to the office to check mail/phone.

Needed gas on the way... but it's just across the street, so it could wait.

Put out three fires, checked phone and email. Then headed out to last doctor's appointment.

Needed gas on the way... Ran. Out. Of. Gas... so not worth the wait. 

Hotter than hell today at 3:00 pm, at this point, I am now very very very sweaty.

Here is a pic of me, from Taco Bell, with my car (out of gas) across the street in a church parking lot. I was so close to a middle of the street situation.

Jesus loves me, YES HE DOES!!!

Called hubby to (apologize) and then ask him to come "fix" the car.

Called sister Sarah to ask her to pick me up and take me to my appointment.

She arrives with her girlies, here is our conversation (approx):

Me "Hey girlies!"(to E and M)
Sarah "So, what's the plan"
Me "You drop me at my Dr. and Michael will come put gas in the car."
Sarah "We've got time, let's just do it."
Me "Mmmmm... it's hot out and from past experience it is a LOT harder than it looks."
Sarah "Put your big girl panties on"

So we went to the gas station. There was a lovely man (he has 5 sisters) who did everything, including follow us back to my car. (I stand by my statement that those little plastic gas cans require a PHD.)

Lessons Learned
4) The car really DOES need gas to run, it's not a myth.
5) Jesus loves me, YES HE DOES!!!
6) There are some awesome people in the world.

Dear Diary,

My day in 5 parts.

Part 1

Alarm Clocks

I have a problem with alarms.  Well, and the clocks.  I can not seem to wake up.  I've gone through 3 alarm clocks in the last 6 months. Currently I am using my daughter's phone, which has 5 programmable times... I use all of them. And on days I have a really important meeting, I make hubby call me.

Two days a week this drives my husband nuts.  The two days he gets to sleep past 3:00 am and he's got my 5 alarms going off.

Him "Just get up when the alarm goes off!"
Me "I don't hear the alarm!"
Him "Yes you do!"

Today was one of his days off.  I tried.  I really really did.

Here is the worst part.  That bastard is sooooo thoughtful when he gets up at 3:00 in the morning.  I NEVER HEAR HIM.  He waits until he gets into the bathroom before turning on the light.  He turns off the light before leaving the bathroom. He quietly slips out of the bedroom AND fixes the girls lunches before he leaves. Sometimes I hate him for being so "morning routine" perfect.

note: the term bastard is used affectionately (this time.)

Part 2

Driving

I drive 2 hours each day.  Audio books are good.  I downloaded some David Sedaris audio books recently.  I thought I had read/listened to all of his books and I would just be re-listening for enjoyment.

Stop. The. Press. Apparently I have NOT read/heard Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim. It's like finding out that there really IS a santa.

David is, well, THE funniest man on the planet.  He can make me laugh so hard I'll wet my pants while going 60 miles per hour down HW 114 and just open the windows to let the pee air dry. I like to pretend David is in the car with me.  That he is talking just to me.  That we are close. That sometimes he pulls out the little notebook he keeps in his breast pocket to write a little funny moment about me and my life. Fodder for his next best selling book.  Or maybe, just for a quick story on NPR. I feel his gay presence so deeply that I may as well be driving in the HOV lane.

Plus, if DAVID were sharing my most awkward moments in his witty, funny, clever, amusing way... well then, they would be SO WORTH IT!

Part 3

Work

I work in production.
I work with men.
I work with men in production.

Really, this should be enough said... but it gets better.

Add WATER.

That's right folks. Today we combined indoor electricity and water.  Not just a cup or bottle of water... but a bucket of water... that had to be thrown... at a person... sitting in the middle of all the lights.

I am so mad at myself that I did not bring Honey's flipcam to work today.  I would have just done a time lapse and added some circus music.

I kid... kind of.

Everything worked out great.  The magazine will have a great online video.  The men were adorable, and really, indispensable... and they unintentionally entertained me.  The unintentional entertainment is usually the best kind (probably because I'm a little evil.)

Part 4

Home Coming

My handsome boy always greets me so happily at the door at the end of each day.  Usually I am ignored by everyone else.

I started mentioning to Spartacus that I was "soooo happy someone loved me enough to greet me at the door"... Best passive/aggressive statement I've ever uttered.

There is now a four-way race to greet me every day.  Caitlin is usually fastest, shouting "I love her most!"  Really, I like to encourage this kind of competition.

Spartacus also wanted to show me his homework, it was a treasure hunt:

Part 5

Amazing Race

Ummmm.... I. Love. Amazing. Race. Hubby and I were finally able to watch it tonight. Wish I had a transcript of yesterday's show because it was f to the u to the n to the n to the y.

Vixen and Kent... have to go. Although, their continued emotional deterioration is highly amusing... and FINALLY Vixen told Kent to stop acting like a girl... it's tearing me up.  Okay, I want them to stay but only for amusement.

LaKisha and Jennifer... I wish them no ill. They generally fly under the emotional/drama radar. Totally works to their advantage.  But not as amusing for me.

Zev and Justin... I was surprised by my joy at their 1st place ranking this episode.  I think I was happy because they were so surprised and happy... and Phil was so adorable when they told them.  Phil can really color my response.

Flight Time and Big Easy... how can one not like them?  They're like great big lumbering giants with great senses of humor.  Must be in the finale!

Gary and Mallory... I HATE to admit it, but this beauty queen bumpkin has won me over.  I am a fan.  I feel bad that they were lead astray with the eating detour... but really, why did any of the teams attempt this? Also would like to see them in the finale.

Jet and Cord... My Cowboys... My all time favorite team.  "Did my heart love till now?" Oh Shakespeare, I think not.  My cowboys must WIN.  Must must must.

To recap: Cowboys (WIN); Beauty Queen (finale); Globe T's (finale)

**********
K

Light and Lunch

Part 1 - Light

I arrived at work at 4:45 AM this morning.  It was that, or come in on Sunday… And clearly I didn't make it in on Sunday.

The building lights don't turn on until 6:00am, fortunately I have this really nifty Gorillatorch.  It's magnetic, dims, and twists. LOVE IT.

This is not an exciting photo, but it's my office cubicle... the most exciting thing IS the Gorillatroch light... my computer is really awesome too... and I have some really cool props for shoots... but the newest coolest item is the Gorillatorch. (Great gift for anyone!)

Part 2 - Lunch

Boston Market has gone "upscale" and now brings the food to you on a plate with silverware, not plastic. Great conversation. Good food. Good time.

I excused myself in the most lady-like fashion to go to the powder room.

I did my business… Which would be no one else's business if the toilets at the La-te-da Boston Market were working.

Have you ever heard a car trying to turn over but just not clicking?  It's kinda a grrrrr, grrrrr, grrrrr mechanical noise.  Well, this was the noise the toilet was making while I was trying to flush.  


So, I'm standing next to a toilet, filled with "none of your business," in a panic because not only does it LOOK like my "business" is not going to disappear but it SOUNDS like whole toilet is going to implode.

When in this situation I find there is only one logical course of action. Run.

Rushed back to the table and said "WE GOT TO GO NOW!"

I don't know if the ladies just know me well, or if I just had a look on my face… But these two know when to hit the ground running.